the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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