I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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