just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
