when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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