i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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