What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
