I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
