This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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