i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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