i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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