I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
