I hope mine doesn't look like that
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize