I hate your face
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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