U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
