in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize