Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
