was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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