are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table