Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
