But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
