he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
try to milk me bitch
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