I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
