There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
