this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
