found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
