So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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