this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
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