Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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