party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
