She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
