i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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