Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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