He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize