THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
