if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
