can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
