are you still at the devil's house?
You're my little dorito
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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