I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
