There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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