Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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