Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
