I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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