After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize