Pregnant stripper...not hot.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
