This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize