All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
