the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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