Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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