:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I met the friendliest cop last night
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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