Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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