Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
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