We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
