it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
