And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
