video games are the ultimate cock blocker
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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