I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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