there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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