what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
