So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
